We’ve slowly become the #selfie generation. It sounds cringey right – it’s true. Don’t deny it. We love to sneakily take photos of ourselves from time to time, we edit them so we look nothing like who we really are, then upload them onto the world wide web, so insignificant people can give us a confidence boost by pressing ‘like’.
It’s the little things eh?
Don’t get it twisted, this isn’t a hate post about selfies. I too often get ready half an hour earlier, just so I can strike a pose or two…or three… or four… or five…. anyway, I too often take selfies in pure hopes my “friends” will love seeing the third photo of my face this week. But that’s okay right, I mean Kim Kardashian does it, so why can’t I?
A few things have become clear within our selfie generation, however. Some individuals are seriously lacking “Selfie Etiquette”.
Yeah, you read that right, this is a legit thing and if it isn’t – it bloody well should! This “Selfie Etiquette” consists of a few basic points to consider before you upload that photo of your sleep-filled face in the morning, or before you caption that photo: “falling asleep with my baby,” when we can all see your reflection in the mirror and you’re clearly sleeping alone…. [HASHTAG] awkward.
Grab a pen and take note all you selfie-addicts…
Ladies and Gents, if you’d like to take a selfie of your outfit or “#OOTD” as it’s known – go ahead. One thing though: how about you don’t stand in the middle of your pigsty of a room, so the whole world doesn’t have to see how much of a messy lazy-ass you are? Why is a selfie your priority when your room looks like you could catch something, by simply breathing?
Boys, this one’s for you. In the bathroom feeling a little brave with your camera? Hang on a minute, how about you shut the lid of your loo or better still FLUSH IT before taking that #6PacSelfie yo’? Sure your abs are hot, but your shit definitely is not and we don’t want to see it. Cheers. [HASHTAG] ThisIsProbablyWhyYoureStillSingle.
The trick to snapping a successful selfie is to avoid eye contact with your camera, as you’re taking it. Its all about achieving that: “Hey, I’m casually adoring my blank wall but making it look like I’m looking in-depth into something, so I don’t look like I’m making that much effort with this, you know? It’s just a selfie”.
Yeah “it’s just a selfie” right? A selfie that took you 110283732 billion takes, and each time you pulled the SAME FACE and uploaded the one that your hair looked good in. Yeah its definitely “just a selfie”.
Captions are the trickiest part of selfies. Usually the most obvious one seems to be: “FEELING BORED, LOL”. Avoid this. The whole world will just sit there and think: “Really though?!” Even though I’m pretty sure when we’re all bored at some point, we’ve picked up our phones and taken a selfie…
There you have it. A guide for all you selfie-addicts out there. Go forth and show the world your face, you sexy beasts.